


she'll open up the door and--

by clarineta



Category: Saving Hope
Genre: F/M, Pre-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-25
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-26 16:57:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2659526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clarineta/pseuds/clarineta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five short pieces of Alex and Joel, the first time around.</p>
            </blockquote>





	she'll open up the door and--

**Author's Note:**

> Started writing this for faves durancer and alexreids (dot tumblr dot com) but I don't have the commitment or, if we're being honest, the talent to write a story with a beginning, an ending, and a plot. So this is super short, but think of all the university work I didn't do instead. I don't normally write and no one has read this except for me so that's where all faults lie.

She tried to push away the loud kitchen noises that sounded absurd and out of place, cabinets opening and closing, the smell of something probably burning. Plates being set on the counter finally forced her out of her half-dreaming and her head raised from the book where she guessed she had fallen asleep at some point. Shit. "When did I fall asleep?"

"Got in at about 7, there was already considerable drool pooling over here." He reached to dry off her right cheek and stayed a little longer stroking her bottom lip with a soft smile on his face. "That will really bring down the reselling value, by the way. "

"I think its shelf life ended with me, anyway", she said, looking down at the old marked pages worn out from too much use. "I can't believe myself. My timetable is all screwy now. I'm gonna fail out of school and serve coffee in an office and die of a heart attack on the train."

He sounded too amused as he admonished her: "Alex, you haven't slept in the bed for over a week. Your timetable was doomed to be... _screwy_."

"Well, not all of us can cruise through life never doing the hard work and still getting the ace results. I need to make valedictorian to avenge for those of us who have to put in the effort to get what they want."

"Revenge of the nerds, I get it."

"Shut up", she laughed, pulling her hair back from her forehead. Everything hurt so badly. Maybe a little sleep in an actual bed wouldn't hurt. Just a little. Not 8 hours or anything, let's not go wild.

"Have you not seen my pancakes?", he asked, lifting a plate filled with them right under her nose, trying to pull her back to Earth.

"Thought they were an hallucination caused by sleep deprivation."

"Nice studying, but they are very real. And here is your syrup. While we eat, if you want, I can share some late night emergency room tales. I saw this fibula today that did not want to stay inside. Looked a bit like an alien life trying to escape. Doctor Blake had to–"

"These are store bought."

He looked up, with a 'duh' expression: "Obviously."

"Not obviously. Your special breakfast was bought frozen from a store?"

"I never said I _made_ the pancakes. You gotta listen to your future patients better than that, I have to say I am disappointed."

"But you did say 'my pancakes'. That was deliberately misleading." She raised her chin at him, shaking her messy ponytail, trying but failing to sound angry. Sounding more like a sleepy yet amused kitten, maybe, in her own ears.

"They _are_ mine. I bought them." He smiled that trademark get-his-way-out-of-anything-smile, as if trying to charm his way out of the horrible crime of half-lying about breakfast. She raised one eyebrow and bit her bottom lip, and he didn't hold in his laughter any longer. She laughed too, feeling stupidly like she had won this round of their everlasting fake arguing. Her neck hurt like hell but she will steal a massage out of him later. They'll both go to bed at the same time and she can pretend she also just came back from a night at the hospital, like her exams have already happened and she didn't feel constantly about to drown in them. He was always telling her not to worry, because there was no chance of her failing, because if she did they would have to fail everyone taking the exam this year and ever again, but he wasn't on the board, was he? Which was lucky. Because if he _were_ on the board some of the things they did together would be highly unethical. God, she needed sleep. "These are good pancakes."

"Finally I have my worth recognized around here", he laughed, stealing a forkful from her plate. His smirk suddenly reminded her of her self-imposed rule about no sex during exams, which sounded pretty ridiculous right then, when he was smirking with syrup near his mouth and his hair ruffled because he was up all night at the hospital, and breakfast wasn't an obligatory meal to him even though she says he should know better, but he stopped at a store to buy pancakes and got everything ready before waking her up. Suddenly she lifted herself up and balanced herself on the counter to lick the syrup from the corner of his lips. He turned around for a quick kiss and they stared a little, both really exhausted and wanting nothing more than a few good hours of sleep. Maybe. They finished breakfast, in the end, but did not go to sleep right away.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Jesus, calm down, everyone in the building can hear you right now."

"I don't wanna calm down! I don't care about anyone else in this damn building, I want you to listen to me! At least fucking act like you're listening to me, Joel!"

"You know what, I can't deal with this right now. My head is pounding. I'll talk to you in the morning, 'kay?"

"It's 6AM, Joel. It is morning, good morning!"

"So what, it's my day off."

"And you're off your face, again."

"I'm sorry, mom, it was only a few drinks, won't happen again I promise"

"Hilarious. You'd make a better comedian than a boyfriend."

"I don't know, I never seem to make _you_ laugh."

"Oh, I'm sorry, terrible girlfriend doesn't laugh at your jokes? Why don't you do something to prove to me that you understand _life_ is not a freaking joke?"

"It's not as fucking serious as you make it, anyway. You know, it's always _something_ , but the only reason why you're so stressed all the time because you gave _yourself_ the job of running everyone's lives. No one asked you to do that. Not everything is your business."

"No one asked me to– I can't even get into that. Sure. I chose to run the lives of everyone I know, my boyfriend, my brother, that was a choice I made because I'm just so controlling and everyone's lives would be just fine without me–"

"That's you getting into that, by the way."

"You know what _is_ my business, it's when I find you drunk beyond belief six hours before we're supposed to have lunch."

"Shit. That's today? I... I completely forgot, look, I'll–"

"I know you forgot! You forget everything that is important to me! You leave me hanging by the phone waiting for the Almighty Doctor Goran to deign to give me one phone call to let me know his plans and whereabouts, like I'm a secretary, or worse! I don't even know who I am in your life! We are supposed to live together, I don't even know where you are all the time!"

"At the hospital! That's where I am. Soon you'll understand and maybe stop screaming in my year and then maybe I'll feel more like talking to you."

"Right, the hospital. It actually really surprises me, sometimes, that you're so good at this. Being a doctor. You might even be as good at it as you think you are, and I might even find out one day! Why don't you use a little bit of whatever it is that makes you good at that in anything else you ever do? Just a piece of that dedication to at least pretend you care about this relationship. What are we even doing anymore?"

"Look, I already know I screwed up. I forgot. I'll take a short nap and sober up. It's not like either of us actually cares about family anyway."

"You're an asshole."

"I'm sorry, was I lying?"

"Do you even understand what I'm saying? I don't want lunch anymore. I don't know if I want... _this_ anymore."

"Wait, what?"

"You are never gonna grow up. I have to accept that. You are not going to be what I want. What I need. I'm looking at what you really are, and I'm tired. I'm exhausted. I'm sad. How can you commit to us if you're not even committed to yourself? I am always expecting you to self-destruct and I can't, Joel. I can't be there when that happens. I can't watch. I can't go through that again. Look, I need someone who will support me, who will stand with me, by me, someone I can share a life with. You want a roommate who will clean the house and give you blowjobs."

"Okay, so, neither of us is getting what they want."

"Fuck off."

"Yeah, I'm going to sleep now and pretend this... whatever this was never happened."

"No! It happened, and I meant get out. Of the apartment. Get out."

"What? And where am I supposed to go, exactly?"

"I don't care. Right now? I really don't care. Find a nurse to cure that hangover that's coming. Or a waitress will offer to share her bed, or maybe an air hostess straight from the nineteen sixties."

"You're serious right now. "

"I need to be alone for a while."

He stares down and laughs. She doesn't move as he walks to the door, as she knows he pauses for a moment to look back at her, as he finally leaves, door banging after him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

"Okay, so, continuing: 'with respect to Rocky Mountain spotted fever, which of the following is _not_ correctly matched? a, etiology - _Rickettsia rickettsii_ ; b, vectors - dermacentors tick; c, diagnosis - rash on palms and soles; or d, treatment - immediate administration of Rickettsial toxoid."

"D, that is not the correct treatment because Rickettsia doesn't make an exotoxin."

"Another one for Miss Reid, that's 8 in a row, how are we feeling?"

"Like idiots."

"Oh, come on. Syphilis and Lyme disease are _strikingly_ similar in which of the following aspects? a) their modes of transmission, b)..."

"The three stage of chronic infection!"

"Well yes, but I'm deducting points because as everyone watching from home knows..."

"I have to wait till you're finished, yes, I know."

"You just did it again. Luckily I decided not to deduce any points, because you are too beautiful."

"Shut up."

"No, I saw that smile, I know you like me. Okay, gunning for the tenth in a row, are you ready, miss Alex Reid from the suburbs of Toronto?"

"I was born ready."

"She was born with microbiology books imprinted on her brain, everyone. Now, 'secondary syphilis is caused by all of the following, except!: a, cutaneous lesions; b, mucuous membrane lesions, _yikes_ ; c, onset several weeks after the chancre, _whatever that is, am I right?_ ; d, the absence of spirochetes in the lesions; _or_ e, condylomas. You can take your time, Miss Reid, this could be the most important question you ever answer."

"Shut up let me think. A was cutaneous lesions, right? No, ok, it's D. It's D."

"And what exactly is D?"

"Oh my God, secondary syphilis is not caused by the absence of spirochetes in the lesions, I swear to God..."

"Aaaand you are sure of your answer?"

"Joel I am not kidding right now if you..."

"Because alternative D issss..."

"I am going to murder you and no jury will condemn me."

"...sssss..."

"I hate you more than I have ever hated anything in my life."

"sss correct!"

"Yes! Yes! I knew it!"

"You just got... well, according to the calculator here you just got 98%. That's... sad. A little pathetic, when you see someone trying so hard but so unfit to reach their OW you can't slap the game host!"

"You're such an idiot."

"You, however, are not. You're probably a genius. Definitely a genius."

"Then why am I with you?"

"Well, sit here for a second and let's remind each other."

 

 

* * *

 

 

She was so mad. It was the 5th, the 6th time in a row he had pulled something like this. They made plans and he completely ditched her, disappeared not to be found till he decided to, by which time it was already too late or too early to do anything. She had to sit there at Helen's birthday party telling everyone her boyfriend was coming, feeling like a teenager more and more with each passing hour she couldn't reach him on his phone.

Then as she was arriving home he was running down the street with some excuse about some hospital crew meeting up and him being unable to turn it down. Apparently they had all gone to Mars for the evening. She knew it was the Joel package. He had to be alone a lot of the time. It wasn't like he really made an effort to be nice to her friends, or to most people, anyway, so maybe it was better that he didn't show up, but he knew it wasn't like she was a big fan of most of these people, anyway. Every med student is extremely goal-oriented, yeah, but she could still beat them all at that. Wanted to, at least. There were so many things she wanted, had to leave behind, and he had so many things he had moved continents to leave behind, and they had found each other. So they wouldn't have to leave anything behind anymore.

He came running down with a box of pastries and smelling of whisky and she hated it. She hated it more as she showered another exhausting unrewarding day off of her, hated it more when she got off the shower and the pastries were all organized on a plate and there was a glass of milk, a glass of orange juice and a glass of cranberry juice. Options. And Joel with the tv on, his feet up on the center table, surfing channels like there would be anything on at that hour. Hated it more as she started hating it less the more she stared at the back of his head, as the sugar and the milk and the tv going from channel to channel combined into this comfortable buzz inside her brain.

Hated it less as she sat by his side and stretched her legs over his on the couch, told him what time it was, that he already knew everything that was on, heard again that he was too "wired" to sleep, hated it less that she didn't feel any hatred at all at the word "wired", didn't even think about it for more than a second. Started caressing the hair at the nape of his neck, feeling more and more like the opposite of hate.

Later on still, she remembered hatred, maybe, had this idea of being mad, at something he failed to do, another sign of the callousness that would inevitably lead to the end of everything, would feel like the end of the world. She vaguely, very vaguely, thought of this as his head made its way up between her legs, nuzzling the stop behind her knee. She gasped, laughed and moaned at the same time. He asked if he was being funny, and she dared to say he was, because she wanted to see his reaction, wanted him to challenge her to find anything else funny, to call her Reid, to take away her words as his mouth went further up. She loved it more.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"You're laughing now, but I  _was_ actually in  _Lord of the Rings_ , you know?", he says, leaning against a doorway like he was meant to lean against doorways while saying stupid things in that lean-y way that is making her stomach flutter and god Alex did you grow up in a farm or something be cool.

"Oh, really? Were you one of the shorty hairy-feet things?" He laughs, and she's so proud of herself, then chiding herself for being proud she is in medical school and has things to be proud of other than making this guy laugh. This guy with the dumb accent and his annoying attitude which was kind of rude, and she isn't into rude, so she isn't into him, or his dumb "definitely not Australian!" accent, or his permanent smirk, or his rudeness, and she isn't drunk in this pub to where her friends dragged her.

"Oh did you not recognize me? That is so refreshing for me, child star Elijah Wood."

 

She laughs and feels her face growing red, not because she is drunk or embarrassed of laughing at his stupid joke. Probably everyone he ever met here has talked to him about _Lord of the Rings_  and he can't stand it anymore, wants to rant that New Zealand is not all, whatever the equivalent of moose and hockey or rangers or Tim Hortons. She has never even seen those movies! Why was this the first thing to go through her mind? Who flirts using _Lord of the Rings_. Is this flirting? God she needs to get out more. God she wants to bite his lip. God she is maybe a little bit drunk. 

"What brought you here to our humble land, anyway? Don't they have doctors in Definitely not Australia?"

"They do, believe it or not. There are doctors _and_ med schools. We have a whole system going on down there, like a country, almost.

"Doubt it."

"I guess sometimes you just need to... get away... Sheep and rocks do get exhausting to look at."

"Well, you came to the right place. This is the best city in the world."

"I'm sorry, _how_ many cities have you been to?"

"Hey! I'm not the one who left my country."

"Fine, fine, miss... sorry, I don't know your last name?"

"Like you even remember my first, but my last is Reid."

"I'm offended, _Alex_ Reid. I wouldn't forget."

"You wouldn't? Why is that?" - she asks with amused challenge in her voice.

"Because it's a beautiful name. And I'm talking to you, so it wouldn't be polite. But more importantly, because you are gorgeous."

"Wow. So smooth". It was hard to get the words out with this heavy thing now sitting below her stomach, near parts that had been, well, maybe not super used for a while. It isn't like she is in a rut! It's just, she has a focus, and she can't be deterred. Well, not for long, anyway. Maybe for a little while. A night. A weekend.

"Being smooth is one of my many, many qualities" - he leans into her now, and their faces are very close. She licks her lips before noticing she is doing it, and when he looks down at them she can't stop her tongue from sort of just... sticking out. Like she was licking her lip again but stopped mid-motion. That definitely keeps him staring, and his face comes closer, and it feels like a little too much just then, pretending to play in another league, like she has never heard of this guy before around her circle and adjacent circles and adjacent circles. She turns her head and his lips end up somewhere near her ear, making her shiver, and there is no way he didn't notice. She sighs.

"I'm Joel, by the way." he whispers in her ear.

"I remember." It comes out as a weird breathless laugh. "I mean, I remember from earlier just now. I didn't already know. Before."

"Really? Thought I had a reputation."

"Reputation? What reputation? Never got to me. First time I hear the name." - He smiles at her nervousness, but instead of mocked she feels like it's ok. Like his smile means there is no reason to be nervous. It's silly to be nervous. She takes a moment to stare at him more and really likes that smile, suddenly has this stupid drunk naive vision of having it in front of her for years, of always feeling reassured just because he is smiling at her just like that, like it's easy, everything is easy.

"Mm. So, I was thinking... could I get you drink... somewhere else?"

She tilts her head, keeps looking straight at his eyes. Doesn't feel that drunk right now.

"Yeah, ok."

"Ok?"

"I'd really like that, Joel."


End file.
